Since the moment I first laid eyes on my daughter, I knew I would love being a mother. It’s amazing watching them develop and grow into their own unique personalities. Everything is exciting and new. The smallest things cause rapturous joy. That part of being a parent is amazing.
But we don’t often like to talk to each other about the other side of parenting. The stress, sadness, worry, even the anger. I think it’s important to talk about these things, to get them off your chest.
Some nights I’ll watch my children sleeping and think about all the horrible things that could happen to them in this world. From car accidents to bullies in school, it can be overwhelming to think about how you can possibly protect your babies from life.
Then they wake up and I wonder if it’s too late to give them up for adoption.. They complain about everything. Every part of our morning routine ends in a fight.
“I don’t want to go to school today.”
“You have to go to school.”
“I’m feeling sick.”
“You’re fine, get up.”
“I hate this cereal.”
“You’re the one who picked it out.”
“Well I don’t want it.”
“EAT THE CEREAL!”
Then of course they start crying and I feel like a horrible person. So, by the time I drop them off at school, I feel angry, guilty, and I’m already ready for the day to be over. I’ve spent many mornings driving to work, crying all the way there.
It doesn’t matter how much you love your kids, they’ll always have the ability to drive you absolutely insane. I know, because I still do it to my own parents.
Don’t even get me started on dinner time. I had a lot of advice when my kids were young. You know the advice I’m talking about;
“If they don’t eat what you make them, just make them sit there until they do, or they go to bed without dinner.”
“When I was a kid, [insert ancient parenting tactic that is now illegal].”
I tried, but my daughter is a redheaded, female Taurus.. I never had a chance. She is the most stubborn, hard headed creature I’ve ever met. She went without food until I decided that the experiment was bordering on child abuse, so I caved and made her what she wanted.
The part that makes it all worth it isn’t what I thought it would be before I had kids though. I thought it would be watching them win awards for their good grades, or their soccer team winning a trophy. Those things are great, but they’re not what makes me feel good about being a parent.
My son reminds me of the Tasmanian Devil from the loony toons, but every now and then, he’ll come and give me the sweetest hug and tell me that I’m pretty.
My daughter has the attitude of a sixteen year old in a ten year old’s body, and most times I just want to strangle her. But every now and then, she’ll transform back into her old, sweet self and we’ll hang out and talk. We’ll watch YouTube videos and laugh together.
Kids will make you crazy, happy, angry, proud, sad, and basically the entire range of human emotion. It’s those “every now and then” moments that make you think ‘Wow. I made these little humans.’ It reminds you to savor every minute of it, even the parts that drive you bonkers.